


Sister Acts

by Sincerely_Sierra



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Apocalypse, American Horror Story: Coven
Genre: C-U-N-T, F/F, Humor, Madison is a bad influence, Sisterly bonding, mishaps in the middle of Target, protective Madison, trust building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22537453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sincerely_Sierra/pseuds/Sincerely_Sierra
Summary: In order to get them to bond, Cordelia sends Mallory and Madison to get Queenie’s birthday gift. Things happen at Target and Madison is not as cold as she lets on.
Relationships: Zoe Benson/Madison Montgomery
Comments: 7
Kudos: 96





	Sister Acts

Teamwork was not Madison’s strong suit. She had been coined the name Hollywood by Misty for a reason; she was meant to stand there and be admired by everything that ever breathed on this earth. She was not supposed to be forced to drive Mallory to Target to pick up a birthday gift for Queenie as a means to get the two to “bond.”

It was completely bullshit on Cordelia’s part. She was probably sitting at her desk laughing like an evil cartoon villain as the girls circled the Target parking lot to find a space that wasn’t a mile away from the entrance of the large store Madison loathed.

Cordelia had chosen the only Target around—far away from the Academy. Or at least, it was far enough for Madison. She’d been trapped in a car with babbling, bumbling Mallory for who knows how long. It could’ve been an hour or maybe more—or maybe this was hell and time was not a real concept. 

However long it had been, Madison couldn’t have been any happier to find a single parking spot far from the doors and throw herself from the car. Mallory frowned and followed Madison towards the entrance, nearly getting run over by a raving shopaholic in a red Audi. She flinched once and kept walking to join Madison, who was now tapping away on her phone while she quite impatiently waited for the younger witch to meet her pace.

“Finally,” Madison snapped at Mallory. “Let’s just find something Queenie will like and get the hell out of here. It’s Saturday and everybody and their fucking mother is here. I really hate crowds.”

“Fine, Madison,” Mallory agreed. “But we have to work together, remember? This is a team bonding exercise so we’ll stop fighting so much.”

“Fuck that. Just grab a cart and move it.”

Ignoring Madison’s temperament, Mallory pulled a cart loose from the corral only to find the front wheel was stuck with a fresh wad of gum. As she reached to grab the only other cart left, a woman in sunglasses and obnoxiously high heels grabbed hold of it as she chatted on her cellphone, blatantly ignoring Mallory’s hands on the bar. Mallory immediately let go and submissively allowed the woman to take it from her. 

Madison scoffed at Mallory as the woman walked away. “This is why we can’t be friends. You’re such a wuss. If that were me, I would’ve told her to shove it.”

“There’s no need to start a fight,” Mallory said matter-of-factly. She looked around her surroundings and snapped her fingers, and suddenly the gum disappeared. “Don’t tell Cordelia.”

“Whatever. Let’s just go. I’m hungry and Zoe’s got what I want, if you know what I mean,” Madison teased, knowing how sexual topics made Mallory squirm like a dying bug. “Meow.”

Since the unlikely pair had began dating over a year ago, Madison wasn’t as bad as she’d been prior. Zoe kept her grounded and put up with her miserable mood swings, something the others could not fathom to persist with. However, Madison still despised Mallory and enjoyed watching her eyes sadden like a hurt puppy any time she insulted her. That was something that Zoe could not fix.

“So, what are we looking for?” Mallory asked Madison as she flanked the cart. “We should get her a gift card.”

“I did not drive all this way with your big mouth for a dumb gift card,” Madison said. “She desperately needs to get laid. I say a nice little massager will do the trick, don’t you?” 

“Er, won’t she be embarrassed opening that in front of everyone? I would,” the young witch pointed out. 

“Oh, come on,” Madison said as she stopped to look at some cheap lingerie. “You really need to step it up and be more mature. You act like a little baby. Afraid to talk about sex, you think lingerie is weird, and you still cuddle with a teddy bear at night.”

Mallory’s face became very hot, and she looked down at her feet. She had not known that anyone besides Coco knew about the teddy bear she slept with. 

“So? I like to preserve my innocence, unlike you,” Mallory said quite defensively. “Not everything has to be about sex and alcohol and drugs.”

“Excuse me, I haven’t done drugs in years. Give a bitch some credit.”

Dismissing her bashfulness, Mallory shrugged the conversation off as they continued to walk through aisles. It was near Halloween and the seasonal section was bursting at the seams with candy and buckets. Mallory browsed the selection and picked up a bag of variety candies while Madison stood idly at the end cap texting Zoe. 

Deciding she wanted the bag of Hershey bars and Twix, Mallory happily began walking back to Madison and the cart, but as she turned the corner, she found herself blocked by a group of older women chatting up a storm in the middle of the second aisle. They were talking about anything and everything—kids, grandkids, moving, finances. 

“Excuse me,” Mallory mumbled as she tried to ease around them, but they seemed to have not heard her, and continued to ramble on.

One of the women looked at the young witch with disgust as Mallory squeezed past them, effectively accidentally brushing up against one of them. 

“Young lady,” the woman whom she touched barked at Mallory, causing her to freeze. “You say excuse me when you move past. Don’t be rude. Who raised you?”

Mallory swallowed hard and began to stammer out an apology, but the woman kept ranting, and the two others watched in awe and shock, as if they’d never seen their friend scold a stranger in public before.

“Sorry, I did say excuse me, but you mustn’t have heard me,” Mallory said, hugging the candy to her chest. “Sorry.”

“Well, you need to be polite and respect your elders around you,” the woman snapped, her faded red lipstick sneer growing angrier the longer she looked at Mallory with those icy blue eyes.

The commotion caused Madison to stop texting and look over in the nearby aisle. She quickly pushed the cart over to the scene and made herself known with a loud sigh.

“Honestly, incredibly disrespectful,” said the old woman. “These young people know no manners nowadays. They have as many manners as they do brain cells. You should be ashamed of yourself, young lady.”

Mallory was near tears at this point; all she wanted was a bag of Halloween candy, not to be yelled at by a random woman in the middle of Target. Cordelia had made it clear many times that no one except herself had authority to scold or punish her or any of her sister witches. This wasn’t right, but Mallory didn’t know what to say.

“Hey!” Madison exclaimed, catching three glares. “Watch who the fuck you’re talking to.”

“Who are you?” the woman asked hastily. 

“I’m her sister,” Madison stated. “Got a problem, bitch?”

None of the women said anything to Madison as she glared so ugly at them. Mallory felt her breathing begin to quicken, unsure what Madison would do now. Anger was never good for the former actress. 

“Good,” Madison said in response to the silence. “Now why don’t you mosey on down to checkout and pay for those Depends and itch powder? And while you’re sitting in church tomorrow, worshipping your bullshit god before you go and berate a waitress at Denny’s, maybe be thankful that I let you walk out of here with your weak, frail kneecaps still intact. Got that, Karen?”

Giggling at the horrified looks the trio of elderlies, Madison grabbed Mallory’s wrist and pulled her back to her side, purposely making her bump into the so-called Karen. The two witches laughed to themselves, and on a whim, as they were walking away, Mallory briefly turned and stuck up her middle finger at them. 

“I can’t believe that just happened,” Mallory said. “I’ve never been yelled at by a stranger before.”

“Yeah, they’re a bunch of old cunts,” Madison said bitterly. 

“Wait. Why did you stick up for me?” Mallory questioned, stopping the cart. 

Sighing and rolling her eyes, Madison threw her hands up in annoyance.

“Because, even though you’re stupid and annoying and irritating and sometimes a big baby, you’re still part of the coven and I still have to protect you because that’s what we do, right? That’s why we’re here. To bond and shit like that,” Madison explained. “And even if I hate looking at your stupid little face sometimes, I still care about you. I would cry if you died, okay?”

A warm feeling exploded in Mallory’s chest, and she grinned and threw her arms around Madison, squeezing her tightly. 

“Okay, see, no,” Madison said, easing her way out of her embrace like she’d been burned. “We might be on liking terms, but we are not on hugging-in-Target terms yet. Back off.” 

“Aw, Madison,” Mallory cooed. “You like me. You care about me. You are so adorable.”

“Shut up. Let’s find something for Queenie so we can go home before I’m tempted to go back there and wring Karen’s neck.” 

Mallory happily skipped next to Madison, still clinging to her candy. Madison would never admit it to anyone, but she felt liberated protecting the younger girl. She never thought she would feel so protective over Mallory, of all people. The woman who’d yelled at Mallory was certainly lucky she hadn’t touched the witch whom Madison felt disgustingly protective over; she was sure to have her kneecaps busted if she had.

“Why don’t we get some popcorn in the food court after we get her gift?” Mallory suggested as they wandered into the bath section. “I’ll share my candy with you.”

“Fine. But no pizza. I can’t afford the calories,” Madison agreed. 

After another half hour of searching and goofing off, the girls chose a generously sized soap basket. It had all kinds of soaps and bath accessories, and knowing Queenie, who loved to unwind with a warm bath every night, they figured they couldn’t go wrong with it. And it was much better than the lingerie Madison had been looking at earlier. 

“I still say we should have got her a massager,” Madison quipped as they walked towards the food court after buying both the basket and candy. 

Mallory rolled her eyes. Madison shoved her towards a table and told her to hold it while she got some popcorn and soda for them both, and she came to sit down next to her once she had. 

“You’re being nice to me,” Mallory said as they shared a bag of popcorn. “Why?”

“Because that’s the whole reason I drove over here,” Madison told her. “You really think we couldn’t have found a stupid soap basket at the Walmart that’s five minutes from the house? We just had to come here for this? No. I’m being nice because I wasted my gas and time and I want something out of it. And I don’t want to fight with you.”

“Just wait until I tell Zoe that you were nice to me,” Mallory gushed. 

“Shut up, bitch. Don’t forget that I’m still capable of busting kneecaps,” Madison threatened, but it came out less than malicious. 

Mallory giggled to herself and threw a kernel at Madison, who flicked it back at her. They did this for a few minutes, before the same group of old women trickled in with armfuls of shopping bags and looked at Mallory with distaste.

The smile wiped right off Madison’s face as she saw them, and she glowered menacingly. They quickly scampered away, and Madison simply looked back to Mallory, resuming her smiling.

“And that’s how you defend yourself,” Madison stated. “I could teach you. But first, we need to get over this little prudish hurdle. So I want you to say the word ‘cunt’.”

“Right here?” Mallory meekly asked, shrinking into herself.

“Yes. Do it now.”

“I can’t,” Mallory whispered. “It’s such an ugly word.”

“Now. Stop being a little bitch,” Madison demanded. “If I’m going to play the role of your big sister, I have to teach you these things. So say it. Don’t act like a baby.”

Just then, “Karen” came near the pair with a cup of soda, and she accidentally—or not—bumped into Mallory’s seat, spilling a little at her feet. Without skipping a single beat, Mallory twisted around in the chair and glared at her.

“Watch it, cunt.” 

Mallory clamped a hand over her mouth as the words left it. Her cheeks became fire red and white hot. 

Amused and amazed, Madison sat back and clutched her belly as she laughed. And Karen, although red from anger, shuffled away upon Madison sitting up to give her a hard, evil stare.

“See? I told you. You have it in you,” Madison praised Mallory as she gathered their bags. “Let’s get out of this hellhole before Karen comes back to pick a fight. Cordelia told me I can’t throw random strangers in public anymore.”

“If you threw that cunt, I wouldn’t rat you out,” Mallory said. “But Cordelia would find out. She knows everything.”

“Right,” Madison agreed, throwing their leftovers away. “Let’s go. You know what? How about we stop and get ice cream before we go home? Cookies and cream?”

Mallory grinned. Her curls bounced as she eagerly nodded. She loved ice cream, particularly cookies and cream. And Madison discovered this information by actually listening to Zoe one day when they had been discussing their sister witches. 

“You aren’t terrible, Madison,” Mallory admitted as they got in the car. “Zoe is lucky to have you.”

“Are you flirting with me?”

Mallory’s nose crinkled. “No way. I just said she’s lucky to have you. You may be a. . .cunt sometimes. But you can be nice under the right motives. Or when forced.”

Madison slipped her sunglasses on and sighed as she revved the engine and threw the car in reverse. 

“Whatever, little witch bitch,” Madison quipped. “Ice cream?”

“Of course.”

+++

When the two returned to the academy with melting ice cream cones in their hands and a Target bag hanging off Mallory’s arm as they laughed over something that had been said prior to walking in, Zoe and Cordelia stopped dead in their tracks to gawk at them.

They were getting along.

No way. 

Without commenting on the newfound friendship, Cordelia immediately got up to take the bag from Mallory and give her arm a break. While they made small talk over Queenie’s present and the shopping trip, Zoe pulled Madison to the next room and grinned wide.

“You got along with her,” Zoe cooed. “I told you that she wasn’t that bad.”

“Okay, I spent one afternoon with her without killing her. Let’s not sing Kumbaya over this,” Madison said with an eye roll. “Fine. I admit it. She’s not that bad. I actually had a good time with her.” 

“I am so, so proud of you,” Zoe said as she gave sloppy kisses all over Madison’s face. “So, what happened out there?”

Before Madison could answer her, Mallory and Cordelia entered the room, flocking to Madison. The supreme immediately wrapped her arms around the younger blonde and kissed the top of her head.

“My girls,” Cordelia gushed, squeezing Madison. “I love that you protected Mallory and stood up for her. That’s exactly what I was hoping for.” 

Madison looked over at Mallory, annoyed. “Really, bitch?”

Mallory shrugged innocently. 

“Wait, what happened?” Zoe asked. “Did someone try to hurt you, Mallory?”

“No,” Mallory replied shortly. “Just some old cunts being old cunts.”

Cordelia and Zoe’s jaws dropped. Cordelia glared at Madison.

“Madison Montgomery!”

Chuckling to herself, Madison looked over to humble Mallory and smiled, high-fiving her. “Attagirl!”


End file.
